Life will feel turned upside down during a divorce. There are many moving pieces and emotions flying. Divorce affects entire families, not just the couple divorcing. Here are some things to let sink into your head.
People Will Talk
I’ve observed first hand that gossip always surrounds a divorce. You don’t have to be rich, famous or in the public eye to be the object of talk around current events in a town. I had a friend tell me later she admired how I basically wasn’t affected by judgments or opinions of others. It could be because I was oblivious, but honestly I didn’t care. I usually avoid drama and that was certainly the case during those years.
That’s not to say I didn’t have my own internal conversations and drama. Divorce is hard, especially if children are involved. I experienced sadness and guilt and stress. I went through years of shuttling the kids back and forth a long distance to school so they could stay in the same district, but my house was far from their friends. I had to hire someone to help me so I could work. I can tell you countless stories, but if you’re going through a divorce you’re probably familiar.
Navigating Changes
So how do you get through the process of attorneys, relationships that are ending or changing, single parenting, possibly losing friends, possibly moving, navigating finances, and all the other messy factors?
Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Some can be viewed as harmful; like turning to alcohol, junk food and /or drugs. Some turn to intensive over exertion in their workout routines. Social connection and friends can help your feeling of happiness and contentment during this difficult time.
New Beginnings
Your new beginning can also be liberating. When one door closes another opens. Maybe it is time to start a new hobby, change jobs, change where you live and eventually start dating. Think of your ideal life in the future!
Once the dust settles a bit it’s best to find a routine that works for you. Deciding a path forward with a clear focus can be daunting. Experimenting, trying new things, meeting new people, finding a community, having a sense of humor, spending time with friends, can all help you find your stride and confidence.
Happiness is to be found on the other side!
